I'm not asking him for anything though, I'm thanking him, for the early Christmas gift he gave me last year. Because last year was when I got the best gift I've ever received....thing is I didn't ask for it..didn't know it existed, otherwise I would have asked for it and a lot sooner...but I guess Santa felt I deserved it, so he brought her into my life.
Neither of us are Gay, we're both Bi and have had more relationships with men between us that we've had hot dinners. But I can honestly say I've never been loved by anyone the way she loves me and I've never loved anyone the way I love her. Although I met her in Oct of last year, I think it was around Christmas when what we had blossomed into something special.. something I'd never felt before. I think it was around Christmas when we fell in love. She might argue she fell sooner than me, but I don't think so..It was more a case of I got too dam scared and tried to ignore it. After all I wasn't looking for it and had just been fooling around for the last eight years, having fun since I divorced. But my feelings for her became so overwhelming, they eventually spilled out.
We've had our bumps in the road over the last year, our trains nearly come off the tracks a few times, but that was never her fault...mostly mine, trying to get my head around what was happening and still being too scared with it all...thankfully I came to my senses..and we met in the Summer...which cemented our relationship. Now I couldn't even imagine a life without her...She is good for me in a way no one has ever been, I've changed a lot..for the better...got rid of some very bad habits...become a much calmer person (ask my kids and Molls lol) it's amazing what Love does for you and I'm actually starting to very slowly feel content...I know I've found my life partner...the person I want to spend the rest of my life with...our future is starting to take shape..and it's looking good. Molls said to me a while back she always knew I'd meet someone, just didn't think it would be someone so wonderful as Z is..and she's right...I still don't know if I really deserve her, or her love...and I know she wont thank me for saying that..fact I'll probably get a slap...but it's true..apart from my kids..nothing this good has ever happened to me...and sometimes it makes me wonder..what the hell a cheeky, grumpy, reckless Scouser like me did to get the ace out of the pack for once. She's the sexiest, kindest, most loving, caring person I've ever known.
So see..Santa really does exist...because who else would have bought Z to me huh...
Thank you for giving me the best gift I could ever wish for...Her Love...I promise to honor it, cherish it and reciprocate it back to her one hundred fold for as long as I live. I hope you can do this again for some crazy, poor lost soul this Christmas and find them the kind of love I have from Z. 2012 is going to be our year and this I hope will be the last Christmas we ever spend apart. If your plan pans out...and it will do cos your Father Christmas...we'll be an old married couple next Christmas, putting the decs up together in our home.
PS....An Aston Martin would be pretty bloody cool next year if you can spare one...if not Liverpool being 10 points clear in the Premiership will do just fine instead.
Cheers Jules xx
To My Z